


Heckin’ Fights

by TheTriggeredHappy



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, cursing, like a lot of cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 12:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16040360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTriggeredHappy/pseuds/TheTriggeredHappy
Summary: Sometimes it doesn’t seem like Scout and Sniper are dating.





	Heckin’ Fights

**Author's Note:**

> [[this is extremely short and i’m sorry]]

 

 

“Snipes.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“Snipes.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Snipes.”

 

“The _fuck_  do you want?” he snapped.

 

“Lookit.”

 

Sniper finally looked over from where he was sat at the table, and Scout struck a pose dramatically, hands on his hips and leg cocked.

 

“Where in the hell did you even get that?” Sniper asked, thoroughly unimpressed by the cheesy “Kiss the Cook” apron Scout was sporting so confidently.

 

“Found it in the closet with the cleaning shit,” Scout shrugged.

 

“You look ridiculous,” Sniper said flatly.

 

“And you’re a grumpy prick.”

 

“Bitch.”

 

“Asshole bitch.”

 

”Asshole loser bitch.”

 

”Bitchass loser nerd bitch.”

 

With that, Scout went back into the kitchen, the two giving each other a lazy middle finger until Scout was fully out of view, at which point Sniper just went back to his paper.

 

From his place on the couch, the Engineer watched the exchange with growing discomfort and alarm. “Are you two fightin’?” he finally asked Sniper quietly, a note of urgency in his tone.

 

“Whot? No,” Sniper replied with a frown. “A’course not. We’re fine.”

 

“Then why are you spittin’ like cats at each other, then?” Engie asked, confused.

 

“Jus’ how we are sometimes. Scoot thinks it’s funny, an’ I agree,” Sniper shrugged. “Look ‘ere—oi, Scout!”

 

“What?” Scout shouted back from within the kitchen.

 

“Bitch!” Sniper called crisply.

 

“Dick!” Scout called back just as crisply.

 

“You wanna bloody go?”

 

“Fuckin’ fight me, man!” Scout said loudly, and there was a note of laughter in his tone. “Fists out, right now! To the death! If you don’t draw blood you’re a bitch!”

 

“What, you wanna take this outside, mate? Wanna have a go?”

 

“You better be ready to catch these hands as soon as this soup is done, asshole! I’ll kick your ass.”

 

“Oh yeah? Like to see you try!”

 

“I’ll punch your dumb face in!”

 

“You can’t bloody well reach that high, y’gremlin-lookin’ little shit!”

 

“How dare you. Get fucked, douchebag,” Scout said, tone too light for the words.

 

“Likewise,” Sniper said, grinning, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair.

 

Engie looked torn between horror and confusion in the following several seconds.

 

”Well, _we_ think it’s funny,” Sniper shrugged.

 

“Snipes,” Scout called suddenly.

 

“Yeah?” Sniper called back.

 

“...Love you,” Scout said, not as loud, almost sheepishly.

 

“Love you too,” Sniper replied without hesitation, grin widening.

 

“...Bitch nerd. What, you have feelings or something? Loser. Get a life.”

 

“You said it first, prick. Hypocrite. Get a _real_ job.”

 

“You’re sleeping on the couch.”

 

”It’s _my_ bed.”

 

”Not anymore. Bitch.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [[hey discord........... y’all bitches
> 
> they love each other very much they’re both just assholes]]


End file.
